peek-a-boo

Except for the image of the Asian girl, this ATC was done completely from scraps, and I got really lucky about finding such complimentary colors and shapes. The scroll on the left was actually from an old Zip'eMate die catalog that had the most gorgeous page borders. I merely hand-cut it a bit with the old Xacto.

I have delusional visions of using all of my scraps in the creation of ATC's, cards and various collages, but I really should admit to myself that it would probably be impossible to accomplish this in my lifetime (my crafting snail's pace alone get in the way.) Still, I continue to entertain the possibility and hold out hope of one day littering the entire world with my scraps on pieces of art. Pipe dreams are necessary to life no matter how dumb, I guess.

I have recently discovered something about what motivates me to actually create (versus thinking about and planning to create). It seems that I really pump it out when I am angry, resentful, or otherwise negatively frustrated. What is produced isn't reflective of those feelings...I can't really recall any art of mine that's really negative. Perhaps it's like a catharsis for me, to improve my mood and outlook, to help me work through what's eating at me.

At any rate, it got me thinking about so many of the well-circulated axioms and inspirational ideas on the blogs. Like on blogs that ban negativity, or that constantly advise and reference angel-like behavior. Personally, I suspect that although the intentions might be stellar, many blogs don't completely reflect reality in terms of the blog owner's true life. I mean, surely there can't be that many flawlessly-behaved people? When's the last time you read a blogger who talks about being jealous or resentful or ridiculing or even catty? Other than here, that is. winkwink

So here I'll say it: being pissed off is a great motivator for me. I'm definitely not going to shun it or suppress it, so I might as well say it loud and proud, honey! I believe I'll name this condition and call it my creative anger. Yeah, book deal, here I come! winkwink

I have trouble sustaining it, though. I'm often quick to passionate anger, but just as quick to want everything to be copacetic again. This might be one reason my work product is created in spurts.

The positivity push seems more of a spiritual religiosity to me, as opposed to workplace/social relationship guidance. It's been awhile since I toiled daily in a workplace outside my home, but I have non-crafty friends who do, and when I describe the blog mantras, nobody ever pipes up and volunteers that it sounds just like a seminar they've attended or an office policy. Being polite and ethical is about as close as it gets. Apparently, the work place is more understanding of human feelings of all kinds, and let's face it, capitalism requires jealousy in some amount. 'Don't get mad, get even' is a popular work phrase. Yet, here on the blogs, we don't discuss those feelings as vulnerable participants. If they are mentioned at all, it's as if the writer is victorious over them or impervious to them.

I guess I'm just saying not to be so quick to bash negativity, because it's part of life. Are we so weak that the mere mention of them sucks us into its vortex? I highly doubt that. Instead of condemning and denying, maybe accepting and dealing with our entire range of feelings would be more helpful and a a lot less guilt-inducing. Just sayin'... :-)))

Until next time,